Diary.

2011-07-15T22:57:00.001+08:00

toss to the side can liao.

四人游

2011-07-15T16:15:00.000+08:00

原来一回头
原来才显出你温柔
我当时爱得不够
原来只能够做朋友　
从前快乐没变哀愁
原来在那关头　
全因舍得分手
你说是否荒谬　
我们比从前看起来更熟

of course i had to search for translations. beautifully crafted lyrics.
this is why i'm a big fan of khalil fong.

:)

1 point less to no ptc.. nabeh!

2011-07-14T18:41:00.000+08:00

i know i sound irritating (lol not only me like that okay) but if you you also sian ma...... sigh.
going to have fun with the teachers and moi mum on 22 july

i refuse to dwell over it! V>_^V~

tetris battle wo lai le~

what's up for today?

2011-07-12T17:56:00.002+08:00

same old same old.

emath paper 1 made me understand how tingfang felt, to be honest. it made me feel like utter crap - i couldn't bring myself to smile, i didn't even feel like fucking moving an inch from my spot on the chair. i'm not very expressive - sorry if i ignored the people around me. it's the worst i've ever felt about grades in my ~~secondary~~ whole life, i guess.

it's the expectations that bring you down so bad. beat you up and leave you crawling on the floor. i'm over it now (plus i'm not the worst anyway LOL) but i can't help thinking i could have saved myself a lot of grief if i hadn't set sights on such a high goal.

so i didn't expect too much from physics and yeaaaa, here i come PTC!
here i come L1R5 >20! what immeasurable joy!

anyway, something else. mr tan stepped into class with a really black face today and started shouting about like a grumpy old man.. so i asked mrs chiang whether he was in a bad mood. and she launched into a tirade about how it wasn't about him being angry, it's about them being disappointed.

not in us, but in themselves. for not being able to help. for not doing their job. for being useless, despite us having two teachers in the classroom.

i started feeling really bad. in fact, typing this out makes me feel really sad. just sitting in front was jethro and yewheng laughing away happily at their marks ("my % higher than u! ahahaha lolx!") while mrs chiang was behind them feeling bad. huh? something doesn't quite compute, does it?

lololol bb

2011-07-11T07:18:00.000+08:00

想说你重色亲友，可是你对其他人和对我不一样。
想说你不是朋友，可是你告诉我不是如此。
你到底在想什么？kpkb. you're a horrible friend.

i don't understand.

2011-07-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

i really don't. is it you or is it me?
what do i have to do for you to know that i don't have any expectations of you as a friend?

im a girl and i love to zilian

2011-07-08T16:58:00.000+08:00

bopian face too fat so don't look pretty only. why my fat burn so slowly sia.

music soothes me. i forget about all the horror during school today when i received my results LOL + my resolution to work hard and practice.

slacking as usual man.

seriously, wtf sian. sian even more that i can only blame myself for thinking that studying the day before is enough. now that my emaths no A, physics no A, then i still got what thing A?

NOTHING my dreams of getting L1R5 12> (means improvement from CT) are shattered nooOOOoo

Self-centered

2011-07-07T22:11:00.003+08:00

is that the right word to describe my personality? I've just realized that all my recent posts are about me, myself and I. it's a sign I guess, a sign that I'm tired of acting like I care for everyone I know.

I'm just not the type to be kind and loving towards anyone when I don't feel like it. being polite is one thing and I can manage the social obligation but when people like nathalie appear all nice towards their friends, I can't help but wonder if it's tiring to put up a front like that all the time.

..then I realize it's probably their real nature, and they have instincts which drive them to comfort even the most irritating of people when they're down and out. people like me would only clap and cheer in glee at the side, but they extend a helping hand. lol what the fuck. is it just me that is really mean or what?

as the days go by I uncover so many traits of myself that I never knew of. not only that, my old traits are being slowly unearthed as well. those negative characteristics that I spent so much effort on covering up, I can't be bothered liao.

i dont know whether to call this 'being true to myself' or 'being a faggot'.

maybe it's both.

2011-07-06T05:41:00.000+08:00

my blog's like a treasure cove for people who like seeing me miserable huh.. im not perma-emo lor its just that the sad things have evolved from happy ones as i grow up. and i dont blog when im happy cos nobody is interested RIGHT

liars, liars and heartbreakers

2011-07-06T05:35:00.000+08:00

that's what you all are. such good liars. so good at putting up a facade, fooling your family, fooling your lovers. one after another.

faith? it's just something that naive people possess.

if life sucks when you're this old

2011-07-04T18:35:00.001+08:00

then 50 years old how? shit.

fuck.......

2011-06-30T06:32:00.001+08:00

i hate exam period

bochup

2011-06-23T02:48:00.000+08:00

LOL just cos i not paiseh doesn't mean i'm clueless leh. I just choose not to give a fuck. sure, go ahead and get pissed with me lor, you are the only one harming your mental health while im freaking having fun.

hehe.

wow

2011-06-22T03:31:00.000+08:00

i love google. just searched for 'hate singapore' and read some hella interesting comments. now im beginning to think we're really living in our own little bubbles of self-delusion leh.. this security, I wonder if it's good or bad.

lol i got all riled up reading all those angmoh comments about how intolerable we are, but there are a few that made sense. it's so scary that we ourselves dont see what's wrong with the life we are living, but have to have the foreigners we dislike so much point it out to us.

that being said, for a teenager, life is good of course. no need to worry about $$. but when we grow up and have to work until we die just because we have to complete payment for our tiny HDB flats.. isn't it a kinda sad existence?

I wonder what is so attractive about other countries to those ppl that want to migrate. perhaps it isn't such a bad idea after all. whats 'greener pastures' to you? is slaving and toiling away your whole life worth it? questions to ponder when i'm older eh.

problem is that my parents would probably just want a stable life in safe singapore. hmm.

lol

2011-06-20T03:19:00.002+08:00

说到底，男人都是一样

im OBSESSED

2011-06-19T14:49:00.001+08:00

like a bian tai

what to do when even my best subject is suffering?

2011-06-17T15:05:00.000+08:00

i want to have flair also.. too bad it can't be developed la huh. i can only stick to the boring 'PEE' - deadpan, inflexible, just.. too much of a routine for me.

wonder how i will do for my humanities in my O's.

ANW can all the teachers hurry up and come back from your freaking holidays!!!!

CONTEMPT is the right word

2011-06-13T16:43:00.000+08:00

Wa even I myself didn't realise that I hated you so much, the mere sight of someone that resembles you will make me huff in anger. I thought I am needlessly hating but after thinking about all the attention-seeking things you have done my blood still boils. One of a kind shameless.

I fucking hate you so much I hope you get run down by a fucking car. That is how much contempt I have for you. How does it feel to have somebody despise you to the extent that they wish you could die? I relish the times I hurt you and made you cry. Go ahead, cry yourself to sleep and tell everyone so that they can show some concern that you need so desperately.

Fucking ah gua. faster die la.
i will drink champagne on that day to celebrate.

Mum's advices

2011-06-12T00:19:00.000+08:00

always listen because they are so valuable. alot of hidden gems also. I love to talk to my mum because she always makes a lot of sense - like if you wish to keep a secret, just keep it to yourself. You, you and you alone, not even your closest kin or friends.

true? people just cannot be trusted. if I can't trust myself, I don't see much point in putting trust in others. not that i think my friends can't be trusted la but i sometimes don't see the point in them knowing some stuff.

another is that everybody is simply a passing guest in our lives, so we don't have to feel so much resentment for others.. this really helped me pull through the recent happenings. when people try to spite you and make you feel bad.. it's okay, they are just 在我们人生中的过客.

thanks mum.

so how?

2011-06-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

should i? i think i will.

I have no sense of commitment at allll

2011-06-08T16:54:00.000+08:00

a) I haven't gone back to choir, not even ONCE

b) I have three dusty and unused instruments lying about at home

c) I fall asleep after reading the textbook for 15 minutes

d) Idk leh.. seems like everything I do is half-assed hahaha.

k after i typed these rubbish then i realised i've got nothing to blog about lol. went to school today for extra physics help which was a really bad idea, but heng i got off easy. i dont think it's the end but nvm, im just going to be short-sighted like i always am and try to forget all about it

anyway i thought i saw a really handsome guy's pic on fb while stalking ppl, but when i clicked to the profile it turned out to be a really handsome..girl. chao neh neh -_-

Sorry

2011-06-06T05:46:00.001+08:00

i realised im really zai at kicking people away when i get bored of them, and missing them later when i feel lonely. what a smelly cheebye seriously. even i myself am disgusted.

3 times and counting. something wrong with me.

CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK

2011-06-01T18:46:00.001+08:00

oh man always portrayed as the maknae but he is so hot here~~

i think it's abit true that 男人不坏女人不爱 unless lor you are super unattractive or something, which means you are just suay. sr is a jerk but at times it's just appealing hehehehehe *spazz*

sian i feel like a perverted stalker!!

2:57 SO CUTEEEEeee

-insert random swearing-

2011-05-30T16:10:00.001+08:00

words are just words. once said, they're gone.

it's so simple to just tell others that you can be there for them lah.
but when time comes, can you do it?

don't promise when you cannot guarantee it seriously, which is 99.9% of the time. it makes me sick, sad and mad. most of all im hurt k. not to sound like a wounded dog but i just thought i knew you.

ordinary

2011-05-30T00:54:00.000+08:00

Nobody wants to be ordinary anymore.

I just blog hopped to a normal blog with entries telling of the person's life; daily emotions and it was so run of the mill.. nothing special, so plain. Yet I found the posts ten times more interesting than those who try to portray their content to the masses and sound interesting.

I guess it's true that the first thought is always the genuine and true one because I have seen a lot of people including myself edit my posts repeatedly just because we are afraid of what other people will think. I don't know what I'm getting at la, but I think it is amazing that some people have the motivation to update about their mundane life every single day without fail even when they know nobody's looking.

I got bored of trying so hard a while ago, but I think I will completely stop now. I don't like the overuse of the cliched phrase "blog to express, not to impress" but it quite honestly applies to a number of people out there that I can name.

BB!

wtf. wtf. omg wtf.

2011-05-25T17:00:00.002+08:00

getting out of hand ah you

2011-05-19T19:08:00.001+08:00

blur and small, i likes

Anyway i am going back to my pre-secondary school behavior, losing my temper anyold how. WHY??
somebody ought to teach me a lesson.

i just wish people around me weren't so nice so me getting angry would be justified. because i can just be angry at the whole world. but how to when there are people all around me asking if im okay T.T

anyway im ok now lurbz

SIGH

2011-05-17T15:37:00.006+08:00

1) nobody visits this blog T_T

2) i wanna be pretty again~~

3) im lagging behind in my studies like SUPER behind (望尘莫及 eh not bad me!)

4) hermit teh leh.

Anyway it feels like im discovering so many new things of myself these days. I am naive, indecisive, love to blame other ppl, love to take advantage of ppl. wa all the traits of a typical bitchy teenage girl. I dun wan leh!

but most of all, i want to seeeee sb again.. maybe in 3 months.
In 3 months, i will be the one twirling you around my finger.

^_^

3 or 4 people are enough

2011-05-15T18:34:00.002+08:00

I thank my lucky stars that they are by my side.

omgggggg seriously

2011-05-05T20:17:00.002+08:00

quite a long time ago there was a STOMP article by a pregnant woman, claiming that a man didn't give up his seat even when she was standing right beside him and her sister dropped hints. ok so, it became a big controversy, probably because it was on the infamous STOMP website.

that's not the point. you're expecting me to bitch about the lady and accuse her of not asking for a seat right? SERIOUSLY, because apparently that's what everyone else on the world wide web in sg did.

that woman was five months pregnant and the man pretended not to notice her there. and what do you singaporeans have to say of the man? what? what man huh? oh it's the woman's fault for not opening her mouth to ask for a bloody seat. why don't you go ahead and get pregnant and ask for a seat? see you paiseh not???

Are you all just slamming the lady just because she's a stomper and they're notorious for making mountains out of molehills? because i honestly think you big fat ccbs are the ones who are making mount everest out of a hill lor, anyhow poke up the earth in wrong directions. (what am i talking about lol) cmon lah, focus on the right things and stop justifying the disgusting mentality all of you have. pui.

still got the cheek to say 'orh if i'm there and she asked i would definitely give up my seat' this kind of things need to ask one meh?!!!?!?!?! wtf

2011-04-28T20:54:00.000+08:00

Times like these you know who are those who actually give a shit. I'm so grateful.

what on earth am i doing with my life

2011-04-23T20:56:00.001+08:00

Threw in a random pic so that this post won't seem so emo. don't worry la not feeling down, just dwelling on why i'm feeling like this. abit lost and aimless, like a slug that's anyhow crawling but don't know to where.

basically i feel like everything i do is going nowhere.

Wake up call

2011-04-19T19:17:00.000+08:00

I keep blaming it on pms but recently another thought occurred to me. why do i keep getting irritated these days?

is it because THEY are being idiots or am i the one getting ahead of myself?
am i the one starting to become conceited, just because i have people who i know will support me?

goddamn it, seriously. what's wrong with me?

..I'm disgusting.

2011-04-17T20:30:00.002+08:00

Stop climbing all over my head just because i don't retaliate la. wtf.

feeling lum nua

2011-04-10T13:38:00.001+08:00

It's true isn't it? as you grow up your presents get more expensive. i still remember the days my mum gave me a box of cute pens and i was so happy.

nevertheless i'm really damn happy this time - for my friends to spend the time gathering 17 people for the headphones and 11 people for the casing even though they're under the stress of syf, it's enough to know that they think i'm worth the effort.

Thanks all!!

p.s actually i wrote alot more but i think i shouldnt be so big mouth hhahaha so bye

Hey you

2011-04-04T19:12:00.000+08:00

are you one of those people who play pokemon and/or maple in your room the whole day?
are you 16 and above?

seriously, i'm so curious about what's going through inside your heads. have you all shut out the outside world or what? your world is pokemon world, maple world, nothing else ah?

what are you going to do in the future.. train pokemon? I really don't understand leh.

WISHLIST!

2011-04-03T14:18:00.002+08:00

Old already, birthday not so exciting already. sigh i also no idea what i want leh.
some suggestions k don't want buy also nvm *act modest*

Headphones - Sennheiser PX100
(Check challenger stores)

credits

OPI matte black

credits

iPhone 3GS black silicone casing
(plain leh~ but swirling also can)

credits

Or if you are not willing to spend money, a card or framed photo is enough

credits

DON'T BUY
- Bags
- Soft toys
- Decorative things
- Bigbang related (don't!)
- Food (NO!)

i will probably get tons of cards (or even a cardboard box cover?!!) because no one is willing to spend $$ on me but nevermind haha. don't waste money on stuff i don't need right. my thoughtfulness is killing me~

jibe gajima MV leh

2011-03-16T09:56:00.001+08:00

WTS so bloody cute!! *sigh*

lan jiao

2011-03-02T19:39:00.000+08:00

i really need to learn how to write faster. so demoralizing when you know you can score well but didn't get to write the answers down. fucking sian seriously.

+ i get distracted by every little movement by other ppl and my mind just goes blank. i wish we could take our papers in individual rooms haha. ha simi ha nothing to ha about. you are not going to get good grades, teh ke ni.

please grant me the power to write like a superwoman during lit paper this friday! AMITUOFO

They say when trust is lost you'll never be able to get it back completely.

2011-02-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

it must be true. I've lost my faith in you.

GUILT TRIP :(

2011-02-14T17:26:00.002+08:00

happy valentines' day everyone!!!!! argh wtf i hate taking the lrt home

- carriage is like super freaking small (why cant they make 2 carriages tgt)
- so the noise is like magnified 6x?!
- unstable until it lurches around like fuck (srsly its like taking the mrt to je when its going mid line)
- i need to hold the poles so i cant even use hp and pretend im not lonely
- so little seats?????? you think only ah ma need to sit meh
- station is so small when you get off its like walking into a human sea

WHY CANT THEY JUST ELONGATE THE STUPID TRAIN LAH???!! its like the platform is so farking long and the carriage just takes up half of it omg. k n n

death

2011-01-28T23:56:00.002+08:00

I'm shocked.

Imagine one of the people closest to you leaving your life. I can't.

Life's so fragile. You never realise the presence and impact of these people in your life, but it's hard to picture them gone.

/edit i wont 自作多情 alr lol. i feel like my efforts are unappreciated seriously. come to me if you want, because you don't seem to give a rat's ass when i go to you. i have a lump stuck in my throat because i have been feeling really down in the dumps these few days but even after bothering to show some concern, i get ignored.

it's been a long time since i've said this but i'm honestly tired of everything right now. i don't need people to comfort me when i'm sad but i want to at least have some reassurance that you get what i am feeling for you.

i don't want to cry. i don't want to, but i can't help it. i don't know if it's really the case that i'm pmsing, but i feel insanely like shit. please don't aggravate this situation, i don't want to break down in front of people.

心酸

2011-01-23T16:43:00.000+08:00

Words fail me now. i am thinking and feeling so much, and i understand, i feel bad, apologetic for what i have done to you. That's all you should know.

I know you are not asking for much, not pushing me but i don't know how to face you. i have my reasons, and reasons for withholding them. you can blame me. I blame myself.

If i could take back the hurt i've inflicted on you i would. as it is, i probably should never even have done it the first time. Sorry, and forget me even as a friend.

bye. and all the best.

fuck my LIFE!!!!!

2011-01-21T17:59:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE SHIT!!!!!!!! I was thinking 'nononono please don't let me die at 1999m' somemore

omg im speechless at my suayness

2011-01-21T10:08:00.000+08:00

fuck all you cheebyes you borrow people's stuff and draw all over it WTF. I wouldn't mind as much if you told me and apologized but you just give the paper back like it was your property instead?? how would you like it if I tore up your paper and threw it in your bloody face because i am HOPPING MAD NOW. GRRRR. ROARRRR.

(10 mins later) ok my anger has dissipated but im still going to post this. all of you better not do this to other people too

siao

2011-01-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

my hansum boi:

my hansum boi with bangs:

THEY LOOK LIKE TWO DIFFERENT HANSUM BOI BOI. ♥♥

im not nice

2011-01-15T12:00:00.000+08:00

I've tried, i rly have. 'sorry no cure' is true, but I can't bring myself to take care of the feelings of people I can't stand. Even if they have done nothing to offend me, i get the urge to hurt them, to make them feel down.

i want to change. i want them to change.

I don't want to think these negative thoughts but i can't help thinking about what a fucker i am sometimes. and yes, I feel bad about myself, this dark side of my personality and how i can't control it. What disgusts me is that i never feel bad for their bruised feelings but only for myself.

My life practically consists of me and the people i care about. the other half lives in my world, but not my life.

I wonder if i should make the effort to change myself or just not be bothered. I see this trait in one of my friends and i'm disgusted as hell. I felt so sorry for the victim as well. How?

Boring post

2011-01-08T20:09:00.000+08:00

1. Went to school at 7+ today for CCA extravaganza.

2. sobbed over how charmaine put my eating hotdog picture on the video T_T

3. headed to lunch with vera, yuwan and yujun. Yujun was very rude indeed HAHA

4. JP with yujun! met jiayi and her mum. Bought the dress for fine dining.

5. legs broke

6. Went home, watch ai, blog this.

This is what I did today. now that there's not much time left i can sing with the choir enjoyably (without the stress of comp. or what) then i start to treasure the practices. I'm such a loser.

thanks jiayi for offering to collect my dress on wednesday! MUACKS

2011-01-07T02:46:00.001+08:00

I have so many things to talk about, but all I can do is cry myself to sleep.

Question: Which do you value more, your own happiness or others'?

2011-01-03T11:53:00.000+08:00

found this in my drafts when I imported all my old posts into this blog. (changed the date so it'll show up today) For me, it's my own happiness. I may sound selfish saying this, but it's the truth haha. Frankly, when i help others, there are times when i help out just to make myself feel good.

Of course I am willing to sacrifice most of the time for the people around me lah. *frantically trying to recover my kindly reputation*

ok, i'm just joking lol. Anyway this morning my gugu (father side aunt) brought some kuehs to my house so my ahma knocked on my door to say a bunch of hokkien stuff I didn't understand. i have very limited hokkien vocabulary..

Ahma: $^@#$(*^@ jiak, *#$&^$# kueh
Me: Har?
Ahma: (#*%*@(* gugu, *%@$;(#$ jiak
Me: Orh, wa jiak ba liao, mai (i eat already, dun wan)
Ahma: -continue blabbering some nonsense that i haven't eat-
Me: MAI

....and it went on for like 5mins until she gave up. sigh i should learn more hokkien hor

Lame

2011-01-01T03:40:00.000+08:00

(yes my eyes are one big one small)

Not that i'm trying to be a wet blanket la but 2010, 2011? I don't rly get what's the big deal about entering the new year. Resolutions? boring. Past year recap? boring.

So repititve. buey sian meh

NONONO!

2010-12-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

Yujun's so talented!

credits: jiayi

lololololol

2010-12-26T18:06:00.000+08:00

i can't even find the words to describe this feeling. we obviously don't like each other and have even exchanged mean words but here you are, sending me a friend request on facebook. what a joker. do you really think i can act like i am ok with you?

sorry lah but i don't accept fucking idiots into my friend list. unless i wanna scold them but no point wasting my energy on you.

A white christmas

2010-12-24T10:54:00.000+08:00

Ya, i wanna celebrate christmas with snow. Kind of cliche but i've added it to my bucket list*.

hard to deny that the festive mood is really contagious lah even if the holiday is dedicated to celebrating the birth of jesus. I'm not a believer of christ but it isn't hard to get caught up in all the good cheer. Even if you don't like it, don't spoil the fun for others.

Spending my christmas with ziyee and family, i think it will be fun. :) bye!

*A bucket list is a list of the things you wanna do before you die

The old me

2010-12-22T20:18:00.000+08:00

I used to place an invisible counter on my blog just so I could track how many people visited my blog each day. When the number of people started decreasing, I got tired of blogging and changed blogs frequently. It quite honestly sucks to know that people aren't interested in reading your posts.

I used to delete all the inspiration and wall of texts I spent the whole afternoon typing because I knew people don't like to read such stuff. They skip whole blocks of texts while scrolling down the blog. I know, because I do too. This brings me back to the first part - worrying that people don't like what I have to offer.

I used to be possessive. I used to think that I was the pathetic one, the pitiful party. I told people that they would get tired of me soon enough and leave me, one by one. What I didn't realise was that I got tired of them, neglected them as friends and made them tired of me. I was the cause of my own misery. Yet I was too self-absorbed to realise that. I used to be blind.

Despite all this, I still think of them as friends. I never once expected that you, who seemed so real and true, would ignore me. As if once isn't enough, you did it again and again. Don't think I don't realise you delete my posts on your wall.

Sending occasional 'good luck's and 'have fun's frankly isn't enough to assure me that we are still friends, or if we are even acquaintances. It's like you are taking me for a ride, making me feel like I still have somebody to give me sound advice and depend on, but disappearing the next moment.

It's as if you are ashamed of me. I was really bothered about this, but now.. thanks for giving me some confirmation about who I am to you.

I used to care, too much, too often.
Time to stop, and give my attention to the people around me who deserve it.

OMG WTF

2010-12-21T23:36:00.000+08:00

THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN TO ME IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANY MORE. :<

Wah lao knn

2010-12-21T13:24:00.000+08:00

I may joke around and laugh with you all but I have feelings also ok. Not that i'm super sensitive but pls keep your mouth in check before i explode and knock all ur teeth out. thanks for making me feel like a big fat flabby joke among yourselves.

EDIT: I think I really am being too sensitive nowadays. getting pissed over stuff easily WATCH OUT

Scary

2010-12-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

I always get the feeling that if I suan any kpop idol groups, I will get stabbed in the back while walking on the street innocently. Ya.. their fans are that hiong, to the point of obsession.

True not? Don't tell me i am the only one feeling this way leh. If not i will sound like a pussy lol
-

If you are wondering why I look like I have shit smeared over my face, it's cos I censored it.

Anyway went out with yujun to vivo today. initially wanted to watch narnia but the idiot said she wanted to find nichol on wednesday. So we went all over singapore to find stuff for school but guess what..

we both went home empty handed. God we are like 2 idiots. k haha bye

...

2010-12-19T14:32:00.000+08:00

I told my mum 'i wanna be CEO next time' and she said..

'You don't go out tell other people this hor later they laugh until their teeth all drop'

sian

My maid troubles are coming to an end!!

2010-12-19T12:52:00.000+08:00

The woman i have been ranting about for the past year is finally going away.

Hahahaha fuck man I can't believe it, after spending hours of praying she gets knocked down by a car. We couldn't send her away because of the agency, it was the second maid we were trying out and we had to wait the full 2 years or something.

Anyway, the reason why I am so excited and relieved that she's leaving is cos she brought her man back to our home while we were holidaying in Korea. yup, she is married with kids. She is also a slut. she is giam siap enough to steal our toothpaste and a whole bag of coins, and sooo lazy i saw a strand of spider silk in the toilet this morning.

I think i better stop before i start spraying blood from my mouth all over the computer la.

The weird thing is she is going out of her own free will and she is paying the plane fee by herself. A few fine days after we came back from korea she told my parents that she wants to go to malaysia because her husband 'suspect she got boyfriend' (I bet she was just testing my mum whether she knows about the night she brought her bf here) and wants her to accompany him on his business trip to msia or something.

My parents say is her bf trick her into going to malaysia one LOL. can only hope it's true. 活该!!

(for girls only) Free handphone photo skin

2010-12-18T17:33:00.000+08:00

Just buy a $10.50 value pack like above and you can get the phone skin + a nice notebook which has a pink 'kotex' printed on every page. Just in case you don't know what a photo skin is, you can upload your own picture and get the skin for your hp free.

Guys, you know what you can buy for your gfs for christmas already. hahaha

Don't say i am auntie hor! Sharing cos I think it's quite good for value :D

Song bo

2010-12-17T21:56:00.000+08:00

I am satisfied with this skin. For now. hahaha will change my face to a clearer one when I grow prettier.

Quick! Guess which one I am. Clue: THE CHIO ONE You better pick the correct one. lol

I feel like I'm being taken for granted

2010-12-03T10:29:00.000+08:00

When i help you, i'm doing a favour for you. If i didn't give a shit about you, i wouldn't have offered to buy things back all the way from another country.

People are complacent like that. They don't realise that friends don't have obligations toward you. If I'm going to be treated this way despite being nice, then fuck you, I might as well let you live without the things you want.

That said, I'm so thankful for friends who don't harbour any motives when they ask me to 'keep safe' and 'have a nice trip' to Korea. Friends who after everything, still seem to want to be my friends. Thanks.

super touched

2010-11-29T18:28:00.000+08:00

omg T_T my dad just bought me the external batt charger i was planning to work and earn money for after the korea trip. I asked him for the price but he won't tell me, i'm guessing it's around 80 bucks (it's 1900mAh).

Time to start studying trigo tomorrow!!

LOL

2010-11-29T01:12:00.002+08:00

ohhhhhhhhh my goddddddd what the fuck seriously HAHAHAHA

Thank you

2010-11-29T00:43:00.000+08:00

Making someone happy doesn't have to be complicated.

Here's what I've learnt throughout the 15 years of my life. There's no need to be afraid of saying sorry. Sincerity can always be felt, mistakes can always be forgiven. Twice I made the same mistake, twice I was forgiven.

People are afraid of expressing their remorse because they are afraid of getting hurt when they're not forgiven. Why? Why would they deny a person freedom from their regret, bar them from walking with their heads up? Most people would understand. Perhaps your problems aren't as big as you visualize them to be.

Thanks a fucking bunch to these people who have helped me grow. They say forgive and forget. You have all forgiven me, forgotten my mistakes, and given me insight to how wonderful people can really be.

These tears tonight.. they are tears of gratitude and love.

Ya movie again....

2010-11-27T14:02:00.000+08:00

If you liked Despicable me, you will like Megamind. cos both damn hilarious ahahahahaha!!!

Anyway, went with yujun, jiayi and jerlene to suntec's eng wah cos I had coupons. thing is, if we bought student price tickets we can't use the coupon. And that's not the worst thing, is the stupid auntie which made me so pekchek.

Me: excuse me, if we buy student price tickets can we still use this coupon?
Auntie: no use already.
Me: HUH? You mean what?
Auntie: you buy student price tickets then no use already.
Me: means if I buy student price tickets then we can't use the coupon, right?
Auntie: -give me the blardy exasperated look and continue telling me NO USE ALREADY-

I almost pointed her the holy finger, i swear.

Soooo after enjoying the movie with a thousand childcare kids in the cinema laughing along with me (some parts i laugh nobody laugh..), we wandered to the arcade nearby and got all our money eaten by the kiap kiap machines LOL. :)

What I got: Small (and super hairy) mickey mouse

How much spent: $3

What yujun got: some weird hippo??

How much spent: $2

What jiayi got: big mickey mouse

how much spent: $3

i know i sound like a loser compared to the both of them but..

What jerlene got: ????
How much spent: $2

wow um thanks

2010-11-26T00:44:00.000+08:00

I've been getting kicked out of blogs. Yup, subtle hints indeed. I'd be lying if I say I'm not affected, but there's absolutely nothing I can do.

Harry potter madness

2010-11-21T20:28:00.000+08:00

Watched harry potter ytd, and it was pretty damn awesome lah. even though it was really long (2 hours+) and there wasn't much action (in fact the only action is only happening in harry's head lol..) everybody still liked it.

yah, everyone likes the harry potter series. To the extent of talking about the characters as if they were real and they knew each other in real life? ._.???

I hope u all don't feel offended LOL but it's just so extreme.. anyway, quality of the pic makes it look as if it comes from shitland. thanks ah snipping tool. :(

Oh man wtf

2010-11-08T00:54:00.001+08:00

Mum: -makes lame joke-
Me: How to say 'how old liao' in hokkien ah?
Mum: ..le jin sui. (You damn pretty)

Me: ... -_-

Lame mum ftw.

Hi all

2010-11-03T19:32:00.002+08:00

Guess what happened today?

I'll tell you what. The irresponsible people who've made the sweet, good-natured Ms Rani angry actually called her names. Throughout the lesson, I was holding my tongue back and simmering with anger at all the mean things you're saying about her. Never once did you stop to think who was really in the wrong, all you did is whine to your other butties.

You're all so self-centered it's revolting. I would like to spit in your faces, then crush it under my feet. Too bad things can't be that simple lol.

I'm going crazy

2010-09-10T05:44:00.000+08:00

Today was like a full school day spent at school, except in the first half it was spent with annoying kids, annoying peiwen and annoying slackers instead of books. you have no idea how drained i felt at the end of CIP.. my mood was horrible lol.

anyway I think choir went better than i expected and was much more enjoyable compared to the madness of the children carnival. Children are fun cute and everything nice but sometimes they are just too much to take.. and i'm not a very forgiving person hehehe.

From day 1. Much love! :)

Thanks to you

2010-09-09T02:32:00.000+08:00

I hate being told that I'm a mistake.

I have never, never forgotten what you were trying to tell me that day. Ya, I cried over it and berated myself for being an idiot. How could I even have dreamed of being more than what I truly was?

Yup. thanks for helping me realise some things just aren't worth the effort.

IKEA meatballs

2010-09-08T05:24:00.000+08:00

These are what jerlene calls 'wooden balls'. she is a sinner.

LOL why am i talking cock. anyway went to IKEA with jiayi and yujun today to eat, play and take a thousand pictures. we had fun (even though i sound sian now we really did) If you are interested you can view them all here. if you are not interested you can kiss my ass.

I actually typed that because i have nothing to say.. very tired after walking from anchorpoint to queenstown mrt, then squeezing in the train during the peak hour la so byebye.

P.S. Don't wear long sleeve in singapore cos you will kena heat stroke.
P.S.S. The meatball sauce no cheese one so dont embarrass yourself like i did
P.S.S.S. IKEA is having a promotion every tuesday, 10 meatballs for $4 only while it's usually $6.90!

Our own talent

2010-09-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

Ya, singapore talent. does it matter if he won through singapore idol?

That's the problem with singaporeans, most of us are so superficial and choose to focus on the fact that 1) he's malay, 2) he's the third male idol and 3) he's not handsome. And cos all your minds are so occupied about what you think is important.. you all don't really see what's the point of the competition.

see the video above already? In what way is he inferior to any american or foreign singers? He's got a nice voice, and even though that's not his song, he's managed to make it his own version. I like it. He's good.

Honestly, Sezairi Sezali is different from taufik and hady (the 2 previous winners). I wonder why we can't have a little faith in him for once.

Pure joy

2010-09-07T05:25:00.000+08:00

There's something really special about watching people achieve their greatest dreams. The amount of happiness they radiate just overwhelms and takes you over, and the next thing you know you want to cry for them, with them; because you're simply so glad that they've finally done what they wanted to, for their whole lives.

Something words can't explain.

You belong with me

2010-09-06T22:46:00.000+08:00

Cheebye i laughed so hard.. LOL

Kayaking day 1

2010-09-05T06:44:00.000+08:00

went for the 1 star personal skills course and i'm so tired i dont feel like updating actually LOL.

The truth is, kayaking isn't so tiring.. it's the distance we have to walk from the place to nicoll highway mrt station. It is like from indonesia to singapore,

from china to malaysia,

from heaven to earth,

from my house to your ahma house.

Ok la it was hell because my bag was leaking water from my wet clothes =.= fuck, the distance felt so long. You may think i am exaggerating but you dunno how horrible it is to walk so far while worrying about your psp.

For the course.. it is not bad lah cos the other people were quite funny and really nice. but the part where we had to purposely capsize sucked so bad thanks to all the water rushing into our noses.

SUNBURNS AND TANLINES SUCK!!!!

I am such a dick

2010-09-04T05:28:00.000+08:00

Not happy then give ppl attitude when they never really did anything wrong. Hm.

bopian, i can't control my emotions. each time you do something that makes me sad.. I promise to give it back to you, with ten times the intensity. Even if it takes a hundred years, i will do it.

THE WORLD SO IRRITATING TODAY

2010-09-03T04:18:00.000+08:00

1) Because everyone (ok not all but..) speaks to me like i am a retard

2) Because on the way home the bus lurched and i stepped on somebody's school shoe. embarrassing lah

3) Because I said "SORRY" to some auntie on the train after hitting her arm accidentally.. and she stared at me like i am some crazy fucker. Cb what i do?

4) Because the kayaking course is like saturday + sunday and 7 hours per day and i feel like sleeping 48hrs this weekend!!!!

5) Because my dad refuses to give me any allowance for the 1 week holiday as he expects me to be a hermit during that period of time

6) Because i wonder why choir has to always end so late. will it kill them to let us off early for ONE day?

...sigh -_-

Moobee day!

2010-09-02T06:06:00.000+08:00

Ok i said that i love my friends alot yesterday but now I am not so sure. This is because Jiayi and Charmony made me go down 4 floors while hugging my bolster and go up 4 floors while hugging my bolster AND a soft toy.

all the while risking being seen by my neighbours =.= my reputation of being 'gentle, respectful and polite' among them would have been completely shattered.

Sian ok i am actually joking. but it is obvious that the previous post was by Jiayi.

'Minho' IS ACTUALLY THIS:

LOL now you know how retarded she can be. anyway the both of them and yujun came to watch Slumdog Millionaire pruss Percy Jackson at my house today but a certain loser had to leave early thanks to chemistry tuition hehehe.

That is why she is not in the following pictures:

"You siao is it??"

Btw Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief is super cool and funny and everything nice. checkitout yo!!

Moobee day

2010-09-02T03:30:00.000+08:00

You should watch 1) Slumdog Millionaire, 2) Percy Jackson & the lightning thief and 3) Inception. give yourself a kick in the balls if you havent done so, because they are superrr awesome!!

today, Charmony Jiayi and Yujun came to my house to watch 1 and 2. Loser jun left at 4+ for tuition so she's not in the pictures heh heh.

I suck dammit! D:

2010-09-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

Jiayi is at my house now.

She make me feel guilty cause I chuck Minho in between the wall and my tilam(mattress)

I swear never to do it again but Minho already hates me.

I am a sinner. I should have left Minho at the Animal Alley in Kiddy Palace.

I SUCK BALLS

I give up la

2010-09-01T05:18:00.000+08:00

After all that time i am still wondering what you did to deserve all the things i did to you. it really makes me sad, guilty and filled with regret.

I don't have the strength to maintain this anger any longer.

♥

2010-09-01T04:33:00.000+08:00

I love them so much!!

Last week on friday, during Justina's photoshoot, Jiayi treated me to the 'soup of the day' at pizzahut. Today, Tingfang helped me pay for a meal after school and later after that Yujun bought bubble tea for me.

All this because they know I have only $30 left in my bank account (when I am supposed to have 100 from chi new year). Why do i have such nice friends? ):

Ohya and Charmony protected me and my hokkien mee from junhong that day. She is super nice and treats me as a friend even though i knew her through jiayi and yujun only.

Damn i feel super lucky. hehe.

P.S. oi you know if you have any problems you can approach laoda because she will try to help you in any way possible. Muack muack. ♥

Nabei

2010-08-31T06:17:00.000+08:00

(Credits to garf) This is a magnet iPhone:

Yaaaa looks pretty?
Guess how much is this pretty decoration for your refridgerator?

SGD28

Fucking hell. I know I have been swearing like mad for the past few posts but it really is god damn expensive.. even for a magnet.

If I can't even afford the fake version I wonder when I will be able to get my hands on the real thing.. sian. =.=

iPhone 4G

2010-08-31T01:32:00.000+08:00

I eat bread during recess and eat rice during lunch: $2/day

This way, I will spend
$2 x 5 = $10/week

Which means I can save
$25 - $10 = $15/week

In other words I will save
$15 x 4 = $60/month

To get an iPhone 4G (32gb), I need around $1048.
$1048 divided by $60 = 17 months

My plan ends next year in June 2011.
August 2010 + 17 months = Jan 2012

.

Conclusion: Aiya fuck la just spend LOL.

What the fuck.

2010-08-29T19:40:00.000+08:00

I don't believe anyone will be as stupid as to send a message with 'i love you' to the wrong person. i'm rly speechless.

words can't describe how repulsive your behavior is. previously, you used to be disgusting, now you're just plain revolting.

If you are just trying to show me how happy you are or that you love another girl already after getting over me, don't bother. I don't give a flying fuck about you and the life of the attention-seeking whore you are. the only thing i am upset about you not liking me any longer is that i don't get any chances to make your life a living hell.

Lol i am so fucked up. too bad, i just despise you so much.

I WAS FORCED

2010-08-29T07:17:00.000+08:00

She forced me to act ah lian T_T

i swear i was super lazy to step out of the house this morning, but thanks to my kind heart and nice personality I DID. just to accompany yujun take her phone at jurong point walao.

Not to mention while constantly being mocked by jiayi because i had to leave house at 12 and she at 12.55 (life is unfair -_-).

I AM SO TIRED I WANNA DIE AND END MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
/dramatic

i was also forced to say this: yujun has alot of pimples nowadays

(see i no chin)

Pictures above taken on the shuttle bus to IMM. ya you saw right, she pulled me to IMM to buy crystal case. but the last one was sold to a guy.. which was standing beside her at the shop. haha loser!!

At JE mrt..i was shielding my face from the sunlight lah because mum says freckles will come out to play when i'm older. ):

girls, remember to protect your face from the sun ok. Remember, prevention is better than cure. (facials cost a fucking bomb)

bye!

Things fall apart

2010-08-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

You know you don't want to get too close, because being close would mean getting involved. And being involved only tires you out.

Assholes

2010-08-27T05:38:00.000+08:00

"Weigh your words carefully, because... words are important. 'Nuff said."

This morning during math class, people were being mean. maybe it's cos they dont know how powerful words can be, how hurting their words can sound.

i know that you all want the best for yourself. i know that you all think that you're giving honest opinions. but have you ever thought of how those words could hurt Ms ong? i thought she was going to cry lol, when she heard the awful and TACTLESS comments.

Mrs lee is definitely the better teacher, and everybody wants the best for themselves. but is it so hard to think for a moment of how your words will hurt her? you think 'I don't mind if split or not split class, i just want mrs lee as my teacher' had no impact on ms ong at all?

shocking, selfish, disgusting. some people only think for themselves.
Be thoughtful for a change la. please.

Today

2010-08-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

Must be the most embarrassing day of my LIFE

Superstitions

2010-08-25T01:32:00.000+08:00

Friday the 13th is an unlucky day

Walking under a ladder will bring you 7 years of bad luck

Step on a crack, break your mother's back

Eating fish makes you smart

I'm sure that you've heard of at least one of the superstitions above, especially the last one. because that's what parents say lah, to make you eat your healthy food.

But how many of you actually believe in them? Actually know where they originated from? What effects they cause?

In a way superstitions are fueled on by plain old faith, just like religion lah. You gotta have faith to put in something to believe it, but i personally find it stupid to believe in something that sounds so ridiculous and unproven.

Something closer to home - 七月, i.e. the Hungry Ghost Festival. It happens right here in Singapore, during the 15th night of the seventh lunar month.

People burn 'hell money' all the time in every street you walk, burn joss sticks, offer prayers and food to the hungry ghosts released from hell. There is 'getai' everywhere to entertain our ghostly buddies and the first two rows are reserved for the VIPs.

Some report seeing ghosts, some report feeling them inside their rooms, making noises etc. You can say it's because i'm a skeptic lah but it's all in the mind. If it wasn't the period of the Hungry Ghost Festival you wouldn't give a rat's ass and be so sensitive to the little sounds made in your room.

What angers me is that some people disregard the metal bins set up for them and burn the fake paper money on the floor - just beside the bins. How fucking inconsiderate can Singaporeans get? It isn't nice to see the big black burn patch on the floor the next day after the ashes were cleaned up. You think burn on the floor the money faster go to hell isit?

I don't believe in the hungry ghost festival. All i know is that i'm breathing in the ashes into my lungs and it's seriously contributing to global warming.. hope it dies out, though i know it never will though to people's strong beliefs.

Regarding superstitions like that, you won't be scared if you don't believe. That's all i can say.

Drop dead

2010-08-23T03:31:00.000+08:00

Yah i am tired but happily tired and satisfied with the week. Except for the fact that common test only makes up 30% of the CA2 overall, everything else is quite good lah. lol fuck u principal thanks for adding on to my stress.

This is what happened from friday to sunday. for the 3 whole days I was thinking of the bloody percentage change. shiok.

Friday, 20 aug

We (ex 201 girls and extra 305 me) were initially going to decoders' cafe lah but something cropped up. nevermind at least i didnt have to sit by myself in the cafe like a lonelygirl hehe.

In the end we (jiayi, yujun, charmony and i) went to jp to eat at some dessert place called Remember to eat. Like the shop owner duno how to name the shop then anyhow wrote shit on the paper lol

nice but quite expensive. My heart was bleeding after i paid the $5 for my durian pudding..

Yujun's mango black sago with shitty pomelo pulp

Jiayi and my durian pudding (delicious!!)

Charmony's holy durian rolls which we all remembered to eat :p

ESPECIALLY JIAYI

the people of townsville has been attacked!!

Watch out for the terrorist who is escaping after committing her heinous crime!!!

Cb. since when i become so lame. -_-

Saturday, 21 aug

Watched the lame PCK movie with ziyee after being tortured for the whole day while she was staying at my house.

Sunday, 22 aug

walked freaking 2 hrs to find the lame water venture place so huiwen and i could register for the kayaking star 1 course. I swear my legs were about to drop off but the mr Kasbi at the place was really friendly (..he laughed at my 'huh' face) so it was ok in the end. We are going to kayak on the 4th and 5th of september :)

Frequently misspelled words

2010-08-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

These mistakes irritate the shit out of me. Jump down the building if you cannot spell the words listed below:

1. Definition is always spelt as 'Defination'

Don't believe me ah? Defination sounds correct is it?

Good job bro. Even reading it sounds wrong, ni and ney definitely sounds different. Don't tell me it's a typo because 'A' and 'I' is practically 10 km apart and I am not an idiot.

2. Idiot is always spelt as 'Idoit'

AGAIN, how does 'idoit' even sound remotely similar to idiot? The worst thing is, this is one of the most commonly seen spelling errors in all of (Keni) history and I'm almost numb towards it already. Imagine wanting to scold somebody for being idiotic but ending up sounding like an idiot yourself.

3. Weird is always spelt as 'Wierd'

I used to make this mistake and get really annoyed when people correct me, because you see, the two words look so alike it's as if 'wierd' is the correct spelling. *blushes* Therefore I forgive you for misspelling this word and you do not have to commit suicide if the only mistake you usually make is spelling weird as 'wierd'.

But still, don't keep on typing 'wierd' la.

4. It's and Its

Ok this isn't really a spelling error but a grammatical error lah but how come people never know the difference between the two words? It's actually means 'it is' while its just means something that belongs to it. While this is not so annoying, the mistake has been committed more than a million times so please drill the different meanings into your hollow heads.

5. Effect is often spelt as 'Affect'

Lazy to type liao but omg pls stop it. The medicine no 'side-affect' one ok?

-
If you got no guts to jump down from the building, I offer a less scary alternative - just enable the fucking spell check la genius.

P/S: Kind of embarrassing to admit but I spelled misspell as 'mispel' initially. Self-own again T_T

Mdm Wang is actually quite nice

2010-08-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

I think many of us used to hate her because she seemed really sarcastic back then, but when we were baking the cookies to be sold yesterday I found out that she was quite ok. She never screamed at us even when we were devouring the cookies like pigs lol. Super cool right?

Anyway I reached home at freaking 8.45pm thanks to the lame netball interclass and baking. Got a super headache after playing fronter village (I still don't know what's the difference between ville and village) until 11 so my mama asked me to sleep and don't care about the History test today.

So I did very badly and now I'm very worried but I am still playing Fronter village now. Shiok lah.

Mama keeps on working overtime nowadays and everytime she comes home early, it's with extra work. Heart pain leh she seems so tired all the time. So I bought an apple pie for her to eat when she comes back today.

I know you must be thinking 'Wah good girl' but I must confess that when I was buying the apple pie I was thinking..

"Eh if she don't want I can eat!!! Hojiak hojiak"

..haiz me.

Love them like mad!!

2010-07-31T20:43:00.000+08:00

Both parents left house super early today so I was lonely lah. Then i asked jiayi and yujun to come..

THEY REALLY CAME woohoo even though they knew my house nothing to do one. <3

So we basically just slacked like siao, sang songs and webcam which was unexpectedly fun(ny) hahaha. Ok here i would like to formally thank the two of them for saving me from boredom.

It started off normal one..

then we discovered the existence of special effects!!

(ok la actually we knew long ago but i just wanted to sound cool)

Below act glam only. LOL jiayi damn hilarious lah is like her face isn't fated to appear glam..

Then yujun left because she had tuition at six T_T so we went abit sot sot la hor.

Act futuristic ->

Act horror movie ->

Act cold ->

Act drowning ->

Act statue of liberty LOL ->

And we tried to act eat popcorn but the popcorn kept flying around so abit fail..

Dont believe jiu suan liao go fuck yourself :)

I know i don't look very chio in that picture but whatever la LOL. Buaiix!

I am the..

2010-07-31T11:46:00.000+08:00

QUEEN OF REVERSI.

[insert image of you kneeling down in front of me]

Huiwen

Jav

Jerlene

Jiayi (LOL)

Sharmaine

Black is me ok. Come challenge me if you dare!!

Sigh

2010-07-28T19:46:00.000+08:00

FPSP today was just wtf, had to work with Elias and Linbo alone because Jerlene had her grade 6 piano exam -_-

Elias kept correcting whatever Linbo said and they will both sound frustrated which made me super frustrated deep down inside. But no! I cannot show out and be frustrated by them or we 10 years also cannot finish the thing while we only had 2 hours.

2 freaking hours only lah!! Walao obviously we couldn't finish writing everything and the ideas we thought of were kinda ridiculous, just meant to fill up the empty spaces. The best thing is this FPSP assignment makes up 50% of our socialstudies marks.

..KNN now I feel very sad and worried. Bye lah!!!

Thank you

2010-07-27T19:54:00.000+08:00

You make me angry, but you make me strong.
Every time I think of you, I wipe my tears away and tell myself: "This will be the last time."

Have you realised? Nothing makes me stronger, than the thought of you.